Better Living Through Cleanliness

Q. How many Ewan McGregors does it take to Ewan McGregor a Ewan McGregor?

A. Ewan McGregor!

posted by Adrian @ 6:33 PM 9 comments

I am a clerical officer, or if you will, a grunt. I have much in common with those characters from the classic video game Quake. You could call me cannon fodder, either. BUT... this job actually stresses me out a great deal, in my first three weeks I don't seem to have learnt anything at all. I still make stupid mistakes and I still find it virtually impossible to talk to immigrants over the phone. I'm still to shy to talk to most of my co-workers. Getting up at 6am is killing me. I hate commuting, and I keep falling asleep on the train. Last Thursday the only reason I even realised that I had done it was the fact that the tall Asian guy who had sat beside me since Leixlip Louisa Bridge had become a petite Irish girl at some point which I hadn't noticed. Over the last few weeks I've played Solitaire and Hearts enough for several lifetimes.

And this stupid interactive composition is no closer to being done than it was three weeks ago. I should probably take this opportunity to big up Miller Puckette, inventor of PD. Much of the software that I've been using this past year has been free, in particular PD, which is a kind of graphic-based programming language for audio and midi applications. It can do really nifty things, but I don't seem to be having much luck in thinking of interesting applications, though.

Still, if my paycheques ever clear I'll be able to buy crack, and all of my problems will be over. As we all know, crack is considerably less harmful than coffee or diet coke. And at this point probably cheaper than either. I can bring myself to drink coffee, despite it being a staple for most of my fellow commuter grunts. It makes many people want to poo, but in my case I'm struck by the urge to vomit. It's dis-GUST-ing!

Oh, and those London bombings, which everybody on the entire fucking internet seems to feel the need to comment on. Okay, here goes: I think that blowing up people is wrong. In particular I wouldn't want to die in a subway carraige, but then again I wouldn't want to step on a landmine either. My point is that given the amount of people starving to death right now fifty-two people isn't a particularly huge number. I can remember when I first started college as a fresh faced eighteen year old I told people that I was a pacifist. Which is silly. While I absolutely admire Buddhists and their commitment to pacifism, I just don't believe that it works. Look at Tibet. Pacifism would only work if everybody else was a pacifist too. In this spirit I offer the following solution to the Western/Middle Eastern conflict: we blow up America AND the Middle East. Then we go out for pizza and ice-cream.

In other news, on my second day I got on the wrong train and ended up in Howth. However, Howth is excellent, and I took a six km walk along the beach. I bought my first Rush album. The excellent, and beautifully shot Carnivàle came to and end with a surprising anti-climax, so I no longer have an reason to watch tv. Since walking to and from the train station is only half the distance to the college, I've had to make up for it in other ways. I've been taking the stairs to the fourth floor.

So, that's all of MY news... Now where did I put that crack pipe?

posted by Adrian @ 5:39 PM 6 comments

Vroom!

Whatever has happened, I don't know, the important thing is: I had a two and a half hour driving lesson this morning. I drove to Naas, like the gigantic gobshite I am. I made various mistakes. I sat there looking sad.

posted by Adrian @ 2:41 PM 0 comments

Found A Job

So, I'm gonna be a civil servant. It could be exciting. Y'know, being in the service of civilisation. Fighting the good fight. Holding back the hordes of barbarians who wish to destroy our way of life. And that way of life is burocracy! My appointment is with the Department Of Social And Family Affairs. I might end up as that guy in the dole office, who hands out the cheques, manically grinning and chiming "Don't spend it all in one shop!" to one and all.

I've had worse weeks.

posted by Adrian @ 6:53 PM 4 comments

Spark

It's a particularly light shade of red, y'see. Ah, the giddy charm ofa Monday in the Music Technology lab. Swiping my swipe card through the swipe card thing on the door. Trying to get my smaller-than-average brain to comprehend the basics of the Csound phase vocoder. I shouldn't whine. My life is good. I just happen to lack motivation. I need to get motivated. By this guy. You remember Mr. Motivator, right? More pointless nostalgia: here.

Anyone who enjoys 'good old fashioned rock and roll' deserves to be eaten alive slowly, but special genetically modified super-maggots. These people are a disease on Western society that should be wiped out in the most humorous/horrific way imaginable.

No, not really. I was joking.

I like standing around the corner from the practice rooms. This is where I go when I feel overwhelmed. It looks across onto a field. It had a patch of dandelions in the spring. I had waited for weeks for the flowers to bloom, and when they did I came back a week later, and they had died. Today, I saw a family of cats. The two kittens were completely black like their father. Their mother grey and tabby. I paticularly noted the extent to which she behaved like a mother. How she sought to protect her children; standing her ground as her offspring fled. She did not run flinch against the obvious threat that I posed to her; my arms flailing, screaming at the top of my voice as I ran towards them.

Cats are rubbish.

posted by Adrian @ 5:41 PM 1 comments

#include(stdio.h)

int main(){

printf("programming is gay!\n");

return 0;

}

posted by Adrian @ 1:40 PM 0 comments

Adrian Vs. etc.

Today, as I began to prepare for my Civil Sevice aptitude test, I was confronted with the fact that I can no longer do simple algebra. That is to say, I can't do it with a pen and paper. I've become so utterly dependant on computers that areas of my brain have completely rotted away. I'm pretty sure the are that deals with tact is gone too.

Since the future of BLTC on blogger is in doubt, I should direct you to the livejournal incarnation, it will probably be where I update in future, as blogger has become too unreliable.

posted by Adrian @ 4:24 PM 2 comments